Windsurfer

My husband is a windsurfer. He used to be a instructor but now he could surf only in Ermioni where he owns his board and sail. It might sounds COOL, but as being a wife, I have to fight with two different feeling whenever he goes out for windsurfing.



It's my third visit here and I'm trying to enjoy the most at this place where you do nothing. Swimming, lying at the beach, reading, writing blogs,, I took advantage of having plenty of time and do something which I can't find time normally. I felt much familiar in the place and I'm doing better year by year (first visit, I even didn't bring a book!) but I still can't wipe out my feeling of being lonely. Again, it's the weak point of a city girl who grown up always surrounded by many things. Once I'm thrown into the middle of nowhere, I'll be totally at lost. The word "Small Panic" suits well to this situation.



Honestly, I had a feeling that I come here because of my husband. He has house here and more over, he really love this place. It's his second home. But until my first visit here, I've never had such a vacation before. Vacation is something makes you busy with fun things. Even at the beach resort. In Bali or in Hawaii, I always had many things to do and I enjoyed them. For me, this is the most comfortable way to spend holidays. I don't have to have a headache by thinking of "how can I kill the time until dinner"



Of course, I'm being positive. When I have to spend two hours at home while my husband playing computer, I try to think "now I can read" or "now I can study". We are doing our own things but it gives me a feeling that "we are enjoying time together". This is my only hope.

But he is a wind surfer. He is always checking a condition of wind. With a little bit of stronger wind, he grab his equipments and dash out to the ocean.
If I spontaneously enjoying my own time, than it's no problem. But since my schedule are all depend on my husband, I can't help feeling "I'm left behind" when he goes ocean by himself. When my husband checking the condition of wind, it looks like a bird about to flying to the sky from a cage. I'm just wishing "please don't go".


I know logically that he has hardly have a chance to enjoy this hobby and I really want to respect him. How I wished that if I could let him go with a smile. But I can't control my emotion which desperately wishing him not going.

So strange to have this feeling. I was kind of a girl who is quite indifference of what my boyfriends do. It was because during their absence, I could make myself busy with something else. Time was never enough to me. But when my husband goes wind surfing, it frightened me that "I don't have anything to do myself" and "I lost all the connections I had" and it linked to my current situation that I'm away from Tokyo and "Im alone".

But same time, I'm very impressed by my husband surfing. His smile expressing how much he is excited to challenge a wind. I see him off with wind surfing and his back is shining like a strong Greek sun. I also once had a wind surfing lesson so know how difficult it is to turn under strong wind. He is very professional.


Couples share many things together but there are some "holy area" which the other can not disturb. For him, it is computer and it is wind surfing. I can never join him when he is engaged for these activities. Right wife have to respect this. I also have something which is my own but this is not available in Greece or in Zürich.


I wish I could be a matured, strong woman like my mother-in-law. I don't know how long it will take. Is it a matter of how old I am, or how long being married? Or is it just due to my personality? Am I too egoistic? Sooner is better but becoming a matured woman is not easy. I'm like this, but at least I see myself a little bit grown up year by year in Ermioni. Let's say I'm getting use to this style of vacation much better and I'm enjoying it a lot than ever. Next year, I hope to see myself more different than this year and can let my husband go with pleasure.