Montag, 23. Juli 2007

A Big Birthday and my Family

2nd visit of Spain was first experience of traveling with entire of my husband’s family. What plans this family is always jumbo scale. My mother-in-law celebrated her birthday in Romania for about two weeks. This time, all the family traveled to Spain to celebrate 30’s birthday of my sister-in-law, Fay. Normally, birthday with “0” has special meaning in Switzerland. People tend to celebrate it more than normal birthday.




First celebration was done exactly when the clock hits 12am on July 22. We were at the restaurant, dining around the big round table. We sung a song, 3 TIMES!! and then came big dessert arrangement with candle and message. The restaurant was very nice, organized by parents. We could overview the Atlantic Ocean in Laxe.

Satisfied by beautiful night, we slept next morning until almost 11am.



We woke up in Ponteceso by the knock from Ursula, my mother-in-law, telling us that we will sing a song once again. When we went into the room, another big Tiramis with a message was there, and beautiful flower arrangement by the window. Ursula and Juerg woke upon early in the morning in order to organize another special cake and flower decoration.




Ursula gently picked up flowers from the neighbor. It was as professional as normal flower shop. I could imagine it sold in the shop but what makes it different is that, warm wish of Ursula is included in this arrangement. I believe, she picked up every flower thinking of her daughter.



Fay, a birthday girl.



And everyone celebrate with a joy.



By seeing this photo, you could imagine the family very peachful and merry.
BUT!! This family is the most eccentric and aggresive family you could find in the world!

I experience 2 big fights only during 3 days. If I include small arguments or discussion, I don't know how many they were. Even before the birthday dinner, after checking out the hotel and leaving for Madrid, the family doesn't care about the situation. Everybody speak out until convince the other. (which never happens!)

3 children were raised up to state their own opinion. Even their opinion is against to that of parents, they are allowed to speak out.

I asked Juerg, my father-in-law if it's not too offensive for him. During the middle of fight, Juerg said "it's always practicing. The children might become a leader tomorrow".

This is exactly the opposite education I had. I was never allowed to stand against my parents. I learned how to obey, be patient and accept. It helped me a lot in Japanese society where I had to agree with whatever my boss says.

Here, in the family of my husband, nobody really has a boss. (ok, my sisters do) Juerg is artist, Ursula is doctor and my husband is self-employed. The ability they need is to make decision and not to obey. This does make sense.

I admire how they could be confident with their opinions. But same time, I think it's also nice if they could at least accept the other's opinion, even though they don't agree. This is my small opinion who is pacifist.





Family fight a lot but have fun a lot as well together. Even after lunch, we ordered some dessert and again sung:)
It continued until Sunday night. Juerg, Ursula and Aruischa (older sister)left to the another bar again to organize one last birthday cake for Fay.





And we talked until late.



It was such a densed days. Maybe the stregth of family gets stronger by fighting a lot and laughing a lot all together. At the airport, when we had to leave Madrid and Fay, we are all satisfied with trip and sad to say good bye.

Marriage is interesting. Me and my husband is already a family, only 2 people, but now I really feel that I'm also belong to the family of my husband. I'm grown up in typical nuclear family but I feel very warm when surronded by family of 5 people.
I don't know if I'll have 3 children but one thing I know "I like this family a lot!"
And I would never get bored with this family:)

2 Kommentare:

Anonym hat gesagt…

Dear Juka,dear Zeno!
I was very pleased to receive your stimulating report about your impressions at the occasion of Fayes 30th birthday in Madrid!I had a lot to smile and to laugh about your description of the "fighting culture" within the Davatz family:I found it very impressive how you "detected" already the nice and charming characteristics which make the Davatz family unique and not comparable with any other family!Good anyway that you also mention YOUR values and even defend them!I also was educated to "obey" and I had my whole life always bosses ...and I was forced to do what they told me to do!Therefore this "fighting culture" is even strange to me - but it is refreshing and shurely helps everybody to develop his/her personality! Good that you are now living in the middle of a multicultural japanese-swiss society.You can "pick up" the best from every side! I still have best memories to our meeting in Romania and I wish you further luck with the detection of additional unique Davatz-characteristica..and I look already now forward to your next report:you have apparently a big talent for this:use it!! Many greetings to you and to all members of the Davatz family from Stephan Gutzwiller

Anonym hat gesagt…

Hi Yuka,

Just wanted to tell you that I enjoy reading your stories.

As I know part of the family, I may imagine that you have really
gained a wonderful new family.

Looking forward for the next celebration at the DAVAZ's...

Warm regards to all
Ora